no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
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