think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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