laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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