It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
