If you die in college, do you die in real life?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
