It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
