Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Randomize
