I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I have post one night stand depression
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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