i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Randomize
