so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
be right there i have to get my cape
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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