Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
