The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
