i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
