it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
You're like the curious george of whores
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
