ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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