the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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