____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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