Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
