What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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