My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
