she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
