Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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