who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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