Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
