He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize