Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize