He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
