i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
