I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I wish i was in the wii world.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
