i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize