We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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