Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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