Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize
