Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
