he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
