She announced her abortion via fbk
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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