Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
My balls are so social today.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
