We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
