i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Randomize
