Duck Duck Cougar?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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