so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
