Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
