That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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