OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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