We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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