I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
