Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
