i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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