There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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