Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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