Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
