I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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