i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Dignity is for republicans.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
