Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
