Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
